Happy families don’t just magically happen – they all share common behaviors. That’s according to Bruce Feiler, author of the bestselling book The Secrets of Happy Families. He spent years meeting with everyone from videogame designers to Green Berets, to bankers to TV executives in order to pinpoint which strategies work best. And here are his findings:

• Secret #1: The kids know their family’s story. Feiler explains that your family history – the good and the bad – helps kids feel like they belong to something bigger than themselves. And knowing what the family has gone through and overcome, prepares kids to face challenges in their own lives. Research even backs it up. Studies show that kids who know their family history have higher self-esteem, are more resilient, and are better at handling stress.
• Secret #2: They hold weekly family meetings. That gives them an opportunity to hash out what’s working – and what isn’t – so they can make changes before minor glitches turn into major problems.
• Secret #3: Happy families also eat meals together. The benefits of family mealtime are huge. In fact, studies show that children who eat dinner with their parents do better in school, and are less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs, or develop eating disorders. If nightly dinners aren’t possible for your family’s schedule, you can get similar results by eating together even once a week – like Sunday breakfast.
• Secret #4: Beware, dinnertime is also when most family fights take place. It’s partly because everyone is stressed by the end of the day, hungry – and preparing dinner may become a chore. So, psychologists recommend saving difficult conversations for after dinner – when people have put on their comfy clothes for the night. A full belly and comfy clothes reduces stress, so those difficult conversations may not blow up into arguments.
• Secret #5: Happy families have their living room furniture set up a certain way – in a circle. That encourages conversation and literally brings your family closer. In fact, research has found that people are much friendlier when they’re seated in a circle because they can easily look at and talk to each other. The ideal distance between people is five feet – so the eye can comfortably take in the torso, face and hands for body language cues.
• Secret #6: Happy families aren’t perfect families – and when it comes to punishing kids, it works best if the kids have a say in what the punishment should be. But you need to talk about punishments before the “crime” has occurred. Like, “If you break your curfew, what do you think the consequence should be?” Psychologists say when kids have a role in picking their own punishment, it gives them a sense of ownership over their own behavior. So, instead of hearing, “That’s not fair” or “I don’t deserve that!” – kids will own up to what they did, and are more likely to change bad behavior.
• Secret #7: Even happy families fight – but when they do, they copy each other’s body language. Feiler says that mimicking body language puts you on the same physical level. And that instantly reduces feelings of tension, power imbalance and resentment. That way, you’re more likely to calmly work out a solution together, instead of competing in a shouting match.

Having trouble sleeping? Here’s a one-minute meditation exercise from eastern medicine expert Lara Ann Reggio that’ll help you drop off quickly:

First: Lie on your back, and put one hand under your head, just along the ridge at the base of your skull.

Then, place your other hand flat across your forehead…

Close your eyes and relax.

And hold that position until you feel your pulse sync up between both hands.

That sends a signal to your nervous system to bring more oxygenated blood to your brain, which can help you relax enough so you can curl up and drift off to sleep.

It’s springtime – aren’t we supposed to be losing weight? Shedding our winter pounds? Well, we found a few reasons we may be gaining weight instead with a little help from registered dietician Dawn Jackson Blatner.

• Cadbury Eggs are at every check out aisle. More candy is consumed on and around Easter than any other time of the year – except Halloween. And the candy seems to linger around the house for weeks. Think about it: 90 million chocolate bunnies are sold and 16 billion jellybeans.

• We’re exercising more. I know, it sounds counterintuitive. But when the weather gets nice and we start exercising more – we start eating more to compensate. But a 600-calorie smoothie has twice as many calories as you can burn in a half-hour jog. And exercise actually suppresses your appetite for about two hours. So, if you feel hungry, you’re probably dehydrated. Drink some water instead.

• Longer days. When it stays light later, we go to bed later. And a lack of sleep triggers hunger hormones. Also, dinner may get pushed back until it’s dark out – so you have more snacking hours in between lunch and dinner.

• We start drinking iced coffee drinks. But a small Dunkin Donuts Coffee Coolatta has 400 calories. And liquid calories don’t register as real food in your brain – you end up eating just as much solid food as you normally would. So what may sound harmless – iced coffee – could be the reason you can’t fit into your khakis yet. Stick with plain iced coffee, a little skim milk with a shot of sugar-free syrup at Dunkin Donuts and save yourself 300 calories.

Well, you don’t want to get rid of all the chocolate goodies, unless you want to get pelted with rotten Easter eggs, but you can take steps to make it a little healthier. Here are some suggestions from the American Dietetic Association:

• Instead of sugar, cream or caramel filled chocolate eggs, get peanut butter filled ones. The peanut butter adds protein and is low in saturated fat.
• Instead of those little chocolate eggs, give chocolate covered pretzels instead. Pretzels are often eaten during Lent, because the twists resemble arms crossed in prayer. Since they only have a thin layer of chocolate, the fat content is pretty low.
• Next, try a dark chocolate bunny. It has more antioxidants and less fat than milk chocolate.
• Instead of the traditional jelly beans, try Skittles or Starbursts. They do have some Vitamin C which makes them slightly healthier.
• Put in a few hard boiled Easter eggs. They’re a good source of protein and the whites are fat free. Don’t leave your hard boiled eggs out of the fridge for more than two hours or you’re gonna have some sick kids on your hands.