John Tesh

To get a better night’s sleep: Put down your electronic gadgets an hour before bed, and read a book instead! Here’s why:

First: You’ll be less stressed. Research at the University of Sussex found reading for just 6 minutes reduces stress by up to 68%. That’s a bigger drop than from walking, drinking hot tea, or listening to mellow music.

As a result, a survey of 1,000 people found that those who read before bed slept nearly an hour longer than non-readers, on average. In fact, nearly three-quarters of the respondents said they had a harder time falling asleep if they didn’t read something.

Part of it might be that reading tires your eyes out enough for you to fall asleep. That’s according to neurology professor, Dr. Raman Malhotra, at the Washington University Sleep Center in Missouri. Dr. Malhotra says that focusing on the words you’re reading can make your eyes feel heavy and ready for sleep.

Reading can also tire out your brain. Research shows sustained reading trains our brain to concentrate and solve complex problems. And when we’re engrossed in a story, it distracts us from the problems of the day. And when our mental energy is depleted – and our body is in a comfortable, stationary position while reading – our breathing and heart rate slow, putting us in the ideal state for sleep.

I have the magic phrase that’s guaranteed to shut down any argument with your significant other and get you back on track. It comes from Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Rebecca Hendrix… It’s “I see where you’re coming from.”

Why does that work? Because it shows your partner that even if you don’t agree, you can see things from their perspective. It lets them know you’re listening and lets them feel understood.

In a study, researchers asked real couples to discuss hot-button issues. And regardless of what they were arguing about – or who was right – people who felt that their partner understood their point of view felt happier with their relationship overall.

Dr. Hendrix says, one of the biggest problems couples have is holding on too tightly to their views. But when you open yourself up to understanding where your partner is coming from it becomes a discussion, not an argument. So remember this phrase: “I see where you’re coming from.”

I have a list of 3 things that are good for our hearts – and a couple that aren’t, according to the Harvard School of Public Health. We’ll start with the good:

Optimism. A positive outlook can lower our risk for heart disease. That’s because feeling optimistic relaxes the body and mind – by lowering levels of stress hormones in our blood. And Harvard studies show, optimistic people have a 50% reduced risk of a cardiovascular event compared to those who are pessimists.

Also good for the heart: Tea. Green or black. It can reduce levels of bad cholesterol and improve artery function.

One more thing that’s heart healthy: Magnesium. It plays a crucial role in regulating your heartbeat… and getting enough magnesium daily could slash your risk of cardiac disease risk by 22%. So load up on magnesium superstars like whole grains, nuts, and leafy greens.

Okay – now here are the 2 things that harm our hearts:

Noise. Traffic and airport noise aren’t just annoying – they can literally make your stress levels rise, which increases blood pressure. Get some earplugs!

And, anger is hard on the heart. The chances of suffering a heart attack more than double in the two hours after an angry outburst. That’s due to sky-high levels of adrenaline and cortisol that constrict arteries.

What we eat throughout the day can help us sleep better at night. So here are some foods to add to your diet to help you get better quality sleep.

For starters, get more magnesium. According to the Journal of Research in Medical Sciences, people who get enough magnesium in their daily diet are less likely to have trouble sleeping. That’s because it’s an important mineral for relaxation. It helps neurotransmitters in the brain shut things down at night, so we can rest. To get the optimal amount, all you need is a handful of nuts or seeds daily.

However, if you’re not getting enough magnesium, you’re probably also deficient in Vitamin D. Because without enough magnesium, Vitamin D can’t be metabolized properly. Meaning, Vitamin D remains stored and inactive in your body. And a vitamin D deficiency can lead to fatigue, too. So get plenty of magnesium from your food – things like almonds, bananas, beans, broccoli, brown rice, cashews, egg yolks, and sunflower seeds… and take a vitamin D supplement.

Another sleep-booster: Eat more complex carbohydrates from high-fiber foods. They digest more slowly, so you won’t have blood sugar spikes that can disrupt sleep. So, think oatmeal, whole fruits, lentils, or 100% whole-grain toast.

One final sleep-booster: Sprinkle the spice turmeric on your dinner. It’s a powerful anti-inflammatory that promotes a sense of calm and boosts sleep quality.

Not surprisingly, the pandemic has left a lot of people feeling pessimistic and blue. The good news is: We can MAKE ourselves more optimistic, even during tough times. Here’s how:

First: Visualize your ideal life 10 years from now. What would it look like? How would it feel? Then, every week, spend about 6 minutes writing down how you’d like to change an area of your life, like romance, career, and health, to make your dreams a reality. UC Riverside psychology professor, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky says, envisioning your dreams coming true will strengthen your “optimistic muscles” and boost your mood. And, dozens of studies show that imagining your ideal future can boost your levels of optimism.

Next: Stop expecting the worst. Dr. Lyubomirsky says you’ll be happier overall if you expect good things, than if you always expect to be disappointed. Because, we get a mood boost from anticipation itself. And that’s true whether you’re planning a future vacation – or just looking forward to a nice meal on Saturday night. And even if we ultimately get disappointed because things didn’t work out – you’ll still have had the mood boost from anticipation.

Would you ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to sign a “relationship contract?”

More and more couples are doing it! The contracts lay out everything from PDA rules, to off-limits fighting styles, to non-negotiable personal quirks.

Couples who sign on the dotted line say the contracts encourage boundary setting, fair fighting and compromise. But some items in these contracts seem kind of arbitrary.

Like, one couple negotiated how much time can be spent watching news, limited sports viewing to one game a week, and stipulated that one partner must call the other every day and stay on the phone for at least 5 minutes.

But therapists say these contracts can be GOOD for couples, because they lay the groundwork for a healthy relationship by setting expectations.

Licensed marriage counselor Lisa Thomas says negotiating difficult situations upfront, before they become a problem, can give your relationship a stronger footing. So hash out things like money, how to resolve conflicts, and chores – and revisit it every once and a while and revise it. The contracts aren’t legally binding, but they can help couples stay on track, because both partners know what’s expected of them.

As life slowly gets back to normal, experts are predicting a surge in auto sales.

But if you’re thinking of selling your vehicle, or trading it in, cybersecurity specialists are recommending “wiping it clean” before you hand over the keys. As in: Erase all the data on your vehicle’s dashboard infotainment system!

That’s according to Justin Schorr, president of DJS Associates, a company that analyzes vehicle data. He says, these days, you have to think of your car as a smartphone on wheels. Because if you’ve ever paired your REAL phone with the infotainment system, it likely has copies of all your text messages, emails, contacts, and even your photos! Schorr says all of that personal data can easily be accessed by others who drive your car… and there have been recent cases of hackers buying old vehicle infotainment systems on eBay, and finding troves of personal information still stored on them!

That’s why Schorr says, before you even think about selling or trading-in your vehicle, read the owner’s manual and perform what’s called a “factory reset” – which should erase most of that data. Then, just to be safe, ask your car dealer to do a separate data wipe, to erase anything you may have missed.

Here’s some great news: Alzheimer’s is an illness that can be avoided by making lifestyle changes! And the earlier we start, the better. That’s according to Dr. Richard Isaacson, director of the Alzheimer’s Prevention Clinic at Cornell University Medical College.

In fact, Dr. Isaacson says that anyone under 40 can practically guarantee a dementia-free old age by staying mentally and physically active, reducing their stress, and making these dietary changes:

#1: Cut out processed foods. Every time we eat something that spikes blood glucose levels – like fast food and refined carbs – our hippocampus takes a hit. And that’s a big deal because that’s the area of the brain responsible for memory and spatial navigation.

This next tip cuts the risk of dementia by 35%: Fill half your plate with vegetables – especially dark, leafy greens. Because studies show a vegetable-rich diet prevents the inflammation that’s associated with cognitive decline.

Another anti-Alzheimer’s tip: Eat cold-water fish twice a week. It boosts blood flow to the brain, and reduces plaque buildup, a top cause of Alzheimer’s.

Finally: Dr. Isaacson says we should eat berries 3 times a week, and enjoying a square of dark chocolate every day. In studies, doing that delayed cognitive decline in seniors. It’s down to the flavonoids in chocolate and berries that keep brain cells functioning normally.

Those little fights and squabbles you have with your spouse add up… and break down your relationship. That’s according to relationship therapist Ester Perel. She says, recurring jabs for, say, not doing the dishes, or mini-arguments about things like your work hours, can create a tear in your bond that grows over time. Perel calls bickering “low-impact warfare.” Because couples who bicker all the time can stay together a long time, because they’re not having giant, blow-up screaming matches. But after a while, that tear in the fabric of the relationship gets so big it can’t be repaired. So why do couples do it?

First, they have a negativity bias. So instead of seeing what their partner does RIGHT, they’re hyper-aware of everything they do wrong.

Also, the person who picks on their partner may do it because, deep-down, they feel they care more about the relationship than their partner does.

Plus, when people are feeling vulnerable, they may go on the attack to mask it. Because anger is easier to express than hurt.

So Perel tells her clients to keep a log of things their partners do RIGHT on a weekly basis, things that make them feel cared about. Because seeing how much your partner does for you can help change your thinking.

Wouldn’t it be great to know which people are untrustworthy and mean? Well, DOGS have that innate instinct! According to the journal Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, scientists have a better understanding of how dogs sense characteristics like meanness and trustworthiness.

Basically, scientists staged a bunch of scenarios where dogs witnessed volunteers either being helpful – like, helping a stranger open a jar – or totally UNhelpful. Then, the same volunteers offered dogs a treat.

Time and time again, dogs were significantly more likely to ACCEPT the treat if it was being offered by a volunteer who had been helpful! But if dogs saw people being unhelpful, they usually IGNORED the treats – and refused to interact with the volunteers in any way!

Researchers say this proves dogs have incredible perception when it comes to kindness and trustworthiness. So, if your dog doesn’t like someone, you may want to take their word – or instinct – for it!