John Tesh

Doing good can make you feel good! That’s according to Stanford University psychologist Emma Seppala.

Some people call it a “helpers high”… and it is similar to a runner’s high, or even the feel-good effects of eating something delicious. Doing acts of kindness releases mood-enhancing chemicals in the brain – but the mood boost lasts longer.

That’s because humans are hard-wired to help each other. It’s how we survived when civilization began. And donating your time or money can help you build bonds with others – and that fills us with a sense of purpose and belonging, which creates lasting happiness by giving meaning to your life.

And over time, regularly doing good deeds, or volunteering, improves our health, too. People who volunteer once a month report better mental health than those who volunteer less. And people who volunteer a couple hours a week tend to live longer!

If you’re looking for opportunities to give back, here are a couple places to go:

Try VolunteerMatch.org… It connects you with volunteer opportunities in your area.

Or try networks like TapRootFoundation.org – or CatchAFire.org. They match your skills to nonprofits that need help.

Traditionally, it’s been thought that it takes about 21 days to break a bad habit – or for a new behavior to become automatic.

But where did that statistic come from? Well, it originated in a popular book from 1960 called “Psycho-Cybernetics.” It was written by a plastic surgeon who noticed his patients seemed to take about 21 days to get used to their new faces.

Well, a new study looked at that long-held belief and found that it takes a lot longer than that! Researchers at the University College London studied hundreds of people and found that the average time it takes for a new habit to stick is actually 66 days! Some people were able to do it as fast as 18 days – others took nearly 9 MONTHS for a new habit to form! But 66 days was the average.

Neuroscientist Dr. Elliot Berkman led the research… and he says, if you want to speed up the process, it’s easier if you’ve got another behavior lined up to take its place. That’s why nicotine gum tends to be more effective than the nicotine patch. Because you’re replacing the act of putting a cigarette in your mouth with the behavior of popping a piece of gum!

So, don’t give up if you haven’t changed a habit after 21 days. Because the average person needs 2 MONTHS for new behaviors to stick.

Here are some tips for maximum bonding from Dr. David Niven, a family therapist who wrote the book “The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families”

• Start by sitting in a circle at mealtime. Studies show that whether you sit in a circle at the table or on a picnic blanket in the backyard, the circle automatically strengthens family ties – or even just friendships. Clinical psychologist Dr. Alexa Foster says it makes everybody feel included and important – rather than the important person sitting at the head of the table.
• Another bonding tip: Get some yellow in your life – yellow throw pillows, a yellow blanket, yellow walls. Scientists say the color yellow encourages people to open up and be more talkative. Then, once the conversation is going, talk about your day. Did something embarrassing happen, something funny, something frustrating? One of the best ways to bond is to talk candidly about your life. When parents open up, children feel more comfortable to talk truthfully about their own lives.

If you want to go further, the name of the book again is “The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families” by Dr. David Niven.

According to the Institute For Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany, some dogs can recognize up to 200 words, and even figure out what new words mean, making them mentally equivalent to a 3 year old child.

Just like people, animals have two kinds of intelligence: Fluid intelligence, which is their natural smarts   like they know instinctively how to hunt or to stay away from the street. Then there’s crystallized intelligence, which is how they process everything they’ve learned like when they put two and two together that when the alarm goes off in the morning, they get fed.

But according to the book “How Dogs Think”, you can actually help your pet improve their brain power by teaching them new things that’ll increase their crystallized intelligence. Here’s how:

• You can teach your dog new words. Start by speaking to your dog daily, but not just about the weather. Give your dog consistent verbal signals. If you’re going upstairs say “upstairs”. Pretty soon when you say the word, they’ll scamper up the steps automatically.
• And your cat can be taught using the same training method you use with your dog.
• Animals also need a rich environment to learn. They need the same stimulation that they’d get if they were running free. So when you get home spend at least half an hour playing with your dog. Here’s a good one: hide some treats while the dog is watching then take him out of the room. After a minute, let him back in and see how many of the hiding places he can remember. Also, change the toys they play with often and vary the route you go on when you take walks.

A sharp mind also translates into a healthier pet. With nothing to do but sleep and eat, animals get bored and destructive and are more likely to be obese. Keeping their brain busy means your shoes won’t be chewed, your cat won’t obsessively groom, and your bird won’t pluck their feathers out. If you’d like to know more, check out the book “How Dogs Think” by Stanley Coren.

Now that we’re home more than ever, we need it to be a place of calm. So here are the things in your home can increase cortisol levels – the stress hormone. This comes from the UCLA Center of Everyday Lives and Families. Rein these in and your life will be a lot calmer:

We’ll start with your kitchen counters. Even if you don’t keep food sitting out – any visual clutter on your counters can raise stress levels. Like having appliances sitting out, mail that needs to be sorted, and cookbooks. And that stress makes us more likely to overeat, and eat unhealthy foods.

Another household stressor is bills and financial papers, like your tax return and receipts. According to the American Psychological Association, 75% of us say finances are a significant source of stress in our lives. So seeing those papers lying around is a constant reminder. That’s why the experts at UCLA say to isolate financial papers in one room of the house.

The experts also say mirrors can be a source of household stress. A report by the Institute of Psychiatry found that looking in a mirror often made people feel stressed about their appearance. So you may want to limit mirrors to the bathroom and a full-length one in the bedroom.

Did you feel more bummed than usual last Monday? This may be the reason: It was “Blue Monday” – and experts say it was the most depressing day of the year. Why?

People are more blue on any Monday.  But if you add in the cold weather, the after-holiday letdown, and credit card bills rolling in then, mix in the disappointment of holiday weight gain, and a lack of exercise – and you’ve got a perfect storm for the blues.

But Blue Monday isn’t the only day of the year that messes with our emotions. Some other bummer days include:

• Valentine’s Day. Sure, everyone in a relationship is getting roses and chocolates.  But a huge survey found that 70 percent of unattached singles stay home on February 14th and have “psychological stress.”

• Another hard-to-take day: Tax Day. A Gallup poll of 350,000 people found that “tax day” ranks as one of the most stressful days of the year. In fact, 15 percent of people experience extreme stress on tax day.

• And winter in general is a depressing time of year for 5 percent of North Americans with seasonal affective disorder – or SAD. It’s a form of depression typically felt from December through March. It’s thought to be caused by decreased exposure to sunlight during the winter months – which explains why it’s 10 times more common in Alaska than in Florida.

Ready to change your life? Well, most New Year’s Resolutions won’t make it into February. But if your vow involves changing your diet and losing weight here’s a tip from the Journal of Clinical Psychology. Make a plan. You are ten times more likely to stick with your diet if you have a definite plan of action, than if you just have the desire. Also, here are five tips to help you lose weight from Shape magazine. They’re easy and effective.

• Weigh yourself weekly. Research shows that people who step on the scale regularly are more likely to keep lost pounds from creeping back on.
• Make this the year you get to know soy. Substituting soy for meat and cheese can slash hundreds of calories and fat grams from your diet.
• Add more nuts to your diet. If you add more nuts to you diet, you’re increasing the amount of healthy monounsaturated fat you get. And that can help you shed pounds by keeping you full longer.
• Keep a food journal. Numerous studies show that people who keep food journals are more likely to lose weight than those who don’t. Because it’s too easy to forget about all those little snacks you have throughout the day   but they really do add up.
• Cook at home more often. Besides saving you cash, a typical takeout meal has about one thousand to sixteen hundred calories. A home cooked meal will probably be around six hundred to seven hundred calories.

Watching football and eating snacks go hand in hand…
Just don’t let those snacks go from your hand – to your dog’s mouth! Here are the football snacks that are toxic to dogs:

Onions are extremely poisonous to dogs… and frying them makes it worse. Onions contain thiosulphate which is toxic to cats and dogs. It causes red blood cells circulating through your pet’s body to burst… and the fried outside of an onion ring is will give them diarrhea.

Also, be careful with the guacamole! Avocado contains a compound called persin, which is extremely toxic to birds and rabbits. It may not kill your dog – but he will get an upset stomach. Plus, guacamole usually contains onion – which we just talked about as being very dangerous for dogs – and tomato. The tomato flesh is okay for dogs – but if they get any part of the greenery, it contains solanine, which IS toxic. That’s important to know, too, if you have tomatoes in your garden.

If you’re having guests over, don’t serve anything with a toothpick sticking out – like mini-meatballs. Ingesting a toothpick can cause choking or fatal damage to the GI tract.

Also, keep the mixed nuts off the coffee table. Macadamia nuts and walnuts can cause vomiting, paralysis and death.

And the game-day staple, chicken wings, can be dangerous. Chicken wings are a major choking hazards for dogs because of the small bones. The bones can also splinter inside your dog’s GI tract, which can cause serious punctures and tears.

What did you get for Valentine’s Day? The gift your partner chose says a lot about your relationship, everything from “just friends,” to “seriously in love!” You can also apply this to birthday gifts. Let’s start with the real romantic stuff: 

• First: Perfume. The experts say that means, “Be my girlfriend!” Perfume is an intimate gift, and it means he wants to be close enough to smell you. 

• Another Valentine’s Day gift that speaks volumes: An electronic device, like a tablet. If you needed a tablet, it shows he’s thoughtful and practical, and thinking about your needs. 

• So, what if he arranged a weekend getaway? It means he’s feeling super-romantic, and wants to boost those “falling in love” feelings by spending some quality time with you. 

• And if you got diamond earrings for Valentine’s Day? Our experts say: “You’re engaged to be engaged.” It’s like a diamond ring for your ears. And he’ll probably wait for a day that’s not a major holiday to pop the question. 

Okay, so what are the not-so-romantic gifts you might have gotten? 

• First: A-dozen red roses. Flowers could mean one of three things: 1. He’s traditional. 2. He couldn’t think of anything creative or original. Or 3. It could be all about him. After all, flower arrangements are big and showy. And since you probably plopped them front-and-center on your desk, it makes everyone think he’s wonderful for sending them. It’s all about looking like a great guy – even if he’s not.

• So, what if your Valentine gave you a box of chocolates? It probably means: “Let’s be friends.” After all, he could’ve given the same gift to his grandmother, or his 6-year-old niece.

• Finally: What should you think if your Valentine gave you something super-practical, like a frying pan? Our expert says it means: Break up with me — I’m an idiot.

One way to help promote good mental health is to use interior design to feel calmer, safer, and more supported! So, here are some evidence-based design tips from Cornell’s College of Human Ecology:

First, focus on your view. Of course, we’d all love to gaze out our windows at majestic mountains or ocean landscapes, which are proven to calm the mind and lower cortisol levels. But the fact is, ANY exposure to nature is helpful… even if it’s just a potted plant in the corner. And whenever possible, fill your environment with plants like rosemary and lavender, whose scents promote relaxation.

Also, when it comes to your bedroom, the rule is: The quieter the better. For example: Most new hospitals have strict limitations on medical equipment in patient rooms, since the extra lights and beeping noises add stress that delays healing. So, take the same approach in your bedroom, by making it a strict no gadget zone!

And mental health experts recommend having smaller bedrooms and larger communal rooms. The thinking is your bedroom should provide quiet sanctuary when you need it, but it shouldn’t be so cozy that you stay there and avoid life!