You love romantic movies, he hates them. You can’t stand baseball; he wants to watch all 128 games every season. And you’re madly in love. What is it about opposites that attract? Dating experts broke down the stages of this explosive kind of romance.
Stage 1: First, they drive you mad… But you just can’t get enough of each other. Mary Valentis, PHD and author of “Romantic Intelligence”, says the reason you’re attracted to them is because they “represent qualities in you that you don’t express, or qualities that you lack but wish you had”.
Then in Stage 2: The Chemistry Begins. At first everything about this person annoys you. How they dress, how they talk, even the way they flirt with you. In cases where your mind finds this person repulsive, you might want to check with your body. R. Don Steele author of “Body Language Secrets” says “If your hands sweat, your heart beats faster, and you feel shaky around the other person then, differences or not, they might be the right one.” That anger you’re feeling could be you trying to keep the attraction down.
Stage 3: They grow on you.
Before you know it you find yourself actually appreciating the differences. They open your eyes to new and different things. This is a very attractive quality and experiencing new things suppresses your stress hormones and fills you with feel-good endorphins.
The final stage you go through when opposites attract: You’re hooked. One day you realize that this person might be the one. And they’re nothing like the daydreams you had all these years of the perfect partner. Linda Schnapp a NY based psychotherapist says “We think we’re going to end up with someone like us. But we’re unconsciously drawn to someone who complements us.”
So the next time you meet somebody you can’t stand, give it a few months. They might just be the yin to your yang.